


I'll send you rainbows

by nerdlife4eva



Series: Nerd's Phichit Zine Series [6]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Best Friends, Crying, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Goodbyes, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character Death(s), Other, POV Phichit Chulanont
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14060550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdlife4eva/pseuds/nerdlife4eva
Summary: The goodbye Phichit wasn't prepared for.





	I'll send you rainbows

**Author's Note:**

> This is the third to last promo fic for my Phichit zine piece! Orders are still going on so please hurry to the blog [Thailand's Future blog](https://phichitzine.tumblr.com) to place yours now!! There is also a giveaway going on, which you can enter by following the rules [here](https://n3rdlif343va.tumblr.com/post/172104680964/phichitzine-like-phichit-like-zines-like-cute)
> 
> Starting with the next piece, you will get to meet my main OC child for this series, who was brought to life by the incredible [heilariart](http://heilariart.tumblr.com)! You can find a preview of the art [here](https://n3rdlif343va.tumblr.com/post/170324297669/heilariart-and-heres-my-preview-for-the) and I will release another preview with the next piece!

Numb. Standing in the brisk cold of Detroit’s late February, Phichit couldn’t feel the freezing drizzle landing on his cheeks, he couldn’t feel the rush of the wind through his hair, and the feeling of Yuuri holding his hand was merely a phantom of pressure in the darkness. Nothing could penetrate the numbness that had taken over, taking the place of the all-consuming grief and the seemingly never-ending stream of tears.

No one had warned him. He supposed that he should have known, from a logical stand point, that this was a possibility with any of the patients he met, but he hadn’t known. He had never expected any of this.

There were goodbyes when children left, in the arms of their parents and headed home with the promise of a brighter future beyond the hospital walls. Those goodbyes were bittersweet, because Phichit missed them and was happy for them in equal measures. He knew they were going to live full, beautiful lives and was honored to have had even a small moment with each of them.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sorrow of a final goodbye, the kind that didn’t come with one last hug and a wave out of the back of a car window. This goodbye came with roses placed on the top of polished wood and tears that couldn’t heal the throbbing ache inside of him.

Phichit had no idea how long they stood at the gravesite. All of the other attendees had moved on, some of them stopping to hug him and Yuuri before making their way back to their cars. Jeffrey’s family knew them, from the stories Jeffrey told, and the family events that Yuuri and Phichit held whenever possible in the common room of the hospital floor. Phichit tried to hold in his tears as Jeffrey’s older brother hugged him and bit hard on the inside of his cheek when Jeffrey’s father shook his hand. None of those methods worked when Jeffrey’s mom pulled him into an embrace.

He had promised himself he would hold it together during the funeral. He had made Yuuri promise to drag him away if it looked like Phichit was going to break. Yuuri was far better at pulling his emotions in, having released all of his tears in the safety of their apartment. Phichit, though, couldn’t help the final wave of sobs, shaking in the arms of the woman whose child was now an angel.

They had been invited to join the family at their home following the service, but Phichit had slipped his hand into Yuuri’s, turning back to face the tiny coffin. It seemed impossible that such a small box could contain all of the essence that was Jeffrey.

_Pushing Yuuri’s shoulder, Phichit laughed with Jeffrey as Yuuri sprawled onto the floor. “How about we head for the party, Mr. Jeffrey? We’ll let giggles here catch up when he can control himself.” Bending, Phichit hoisted Jeffrey onto his hip trying to ignore how light the boy was and the feeling of the boy’s delicate ribs under his fingertips._

_Jeffrey pecked a kiss to Phichit’s cheek and yelled, “on to the fun!” Laughter peeling out of him as Phichit began to gallop in the direction of party. Looking back over his shoulder, Phichit grinned as Yuuri retrieved their bag of surprises with a bright smile of his own._

He was the first kid they had ever met, entering the unit dressed in their ridiculous Santa getups. Phichit remembered Jeffrey’s radiant smile, his uninhibited laughter, and the big imagination that Jeffrey used to bring happiness into the small confines of his hospital room. Even on his worst days, Jeffrey still greeted them with a smile and open arms waiting for a hug.

They had known Jeffrey for almost two months and grown accustomed to the childish way he squealed their names every time he spied them through the curtain around his bed. Two weeks ago, Jeffrey had happily told them he was going home, handing them thank you cards with his name written with all of the e’s backwards. Unlike every other child they had hugged goodbye, there wouldn’t be a happy ending for Jeffrey. He was going home to spend his final days with his family, and although he was only seven years old, he walked out of the hospital without fear of what was to come. He had hugged every nurse and said goodbye to all of his friends, waving one last time as the elevator doors closed.

Jeffrey had seven days with his family before his life came to a quiet end, surrounded by the furnishings of his own room and his superhero hamster clutched in his arms. Phichit had seen him the day before he closed his eyes for the final time and as he stood watching the coffin lowering into the ground, he heard Jeffrey’s voice circling in his mind.

_“I don’t think it is going to be so bad,” Jeffrey shrugged, throwing an ace on top of Phichit’s two and snapping up the cards into his own winning War hand. “I’m pretty sure Heaven is going to be a nice place and maybe I’ll finally get to have a dog. I couldn’t here, because Mama is allergic, you know.”_

Phichit had remained silent as Jeffrey talked, astounded by the easy way Jeffrey discussed he thoughts about what came next. Death didn’t scare Jeffrey, as opposed to the way it scared most healthy people. He had left with one last hug and a kiss pressed to Jeffrey’s head.

The call came before ten a.m. the next day. The dread dropped into Phichit’s stomach as soon as he saw the name on his phone screen. Without words, Phichit had listened to Jeffrey’s mom speak about the peaceful way Jeffrey had passed on, feeling his heart fragment into unrepairable pieces. He had hung up, walking into Yuuri’s room and crawling into the arms of his best friend where they both cried until the tears were wrung from their bodies.

“He was really brave.”

It was Yuuri who broke the silence, squeezing Phichit’s hand as he talked. “I get so scared sometimes, of so many things, but Jeffrey… he wasn’t scared of anything. Not even dying.” Tears ran down Yuuri’s face as he spoke.

Phichit nodded, the lump in his throat preventing him from speaking. Closing his eyes, Phichit turned his face toward the sky, feeling the warmth of the sun as it broke through the clouds.

“Phichit, look…” Yuuri pointed above their heads, nudging Phichit with his elbow.

Opening his eyes, Phichit wiped a shaking hand over his face, following the angle of Yuuri’s arm. Above them shown the brightest rainbow Phichit had ever seen.

A watery laugh broke out between them, Phichit slumping into Yuuri’s embrace.

_“You know what I am going to do when I get to Heaven?” Jeffrey asked, smile still brighter than the sun as he rested back against his pillows. “I’m gonna ask to make rainbows. That way I can make people happy, even from far away.”_

Together, Phichit and Yuuri headed for their car, both of them smiling up at the rainbow and thanking Jeffrey for sending it to them.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. 
> 
> Thank you to my beta [atelerixe](https://atelerixe.tumblr.com) for surviving her wet keyboard to help me bring this to you. 
> 
> If you want to talk about this series or anything else YOI, please find me on Tumblr or Twitter!  
> [NeRdLife4Eva Twitter](https://twitter.com/NeRdLife4Eva)  
> [n3rdlif343va Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/n3rdlif343va)


End file.
